I Am Nothing (2/5/07)

I will burn it. I will burn everything.


All that had to do with the man I had thought for the past year that I was.

It was all a lie.

The only thing that ever mattered, the only thing that ever was the truth, was the life I had with Pene.

Did she know that? Oh God, please....tell me she knew.

Tell me that at the end for her, she recalled what we had together, and smiled for the sake of having it.

The end....her end....I never thought that it would be she who would go first.

I never imagined that.

I never imagined having to live without her.

And now that it has come to that.....I find I do not like the prospect of it much at all.

What can words do for me now? What can anyone do for me now?

Without the one great love of my life..... I am nothing.