Surviving The Hurricane

SHIP'S LOG
The schooner Anna-Maria, Port o' call - London
Somewhere upon the Atlantic Ocean

Honeymoon Trip, Day Six
September 1, 1888
Morning


I have heard it said that what does not kill us serves to make us stronger. I have learned through experience now that that is so.

I must shoulder much of the responsibility. I make no excuses but only write of the truth, the way it has been for me for so long now. I have been alone, since my last wife died, and at first was prostrate with my grief. I learned to survive but did so by taking the bricks of that grief and constructing a wall around myself, so that I blocked all interaction with others. I relished my solitude, believing it was the only way I could survive, the only thing I deserved, and to some degree I became protective of that solitude, holding it up in front of me like a shield. I let no one through. I thought that was the only way I could live. I did not realize that in reality it was actually killing me, bit by chipped away bit.

That is, until Gabriella chose to come to me, to enter my dreams and my solitude, relentless in her pursuit of me, and she would not take no for an answer. She brought me back to the living, to life, with her love. She did so unselfishly, without regard to what it might cost her, only thinking of how she could help me, how she could heal me. She perservered until I turned to look at her and began to allow her to unbuild the wall, brick by brick. Yet even so, realizing what she had done for me, what she meant to me, I was on a collision course, at odds with what she needed from me in return, not able to see that I was shutting her out and attempting to deal with things as I had been used to dealing with them....in solitude. I moved away from her, when what she needed, was ultimately what I needed, but could not see.

It required the intervention of a far wiser man than I to bring me to my senses, away from the irrational madness of solitude, and back to the gift that my wife truly is. I wish I could have known Joram Dufaigh in this lifetime. Gabriella's father is truly a remarkable man, a man I would love to learn from, and I will wear his ring with awed honor. It was, in fact, because of our rings.....mine formerly Joram's, Ella's formerly her mother's....that we were able to find ourselves in a better place.
Quite literally. But I digress there.

The point being, I have begun to share with my wife....in all things. Joram said that together we shall have a life of untold happiness, but apart we would not survive. I think I had known that intuitively, but it took him to put words to the feelings for us. I am trying now, very hard, to hold nothing back from Gabriella. I am allowing her to breach my wall and see me for who I am. I will need her understanding, and her patience, but....truly....I am trying, just as I know, she is. I have told her...."mi aliento es suyo, mi cuerpo es suyo, mi corazon es suyo". I do not know how else to say it, except to perhaps add that.....I am committed to her....siempre.


Gabriella and I have weathered the hurricane that threatened to break us apart forever. The vows we made to each other as husband and wife have bolstered our love and we will survive, even become stronger in our love for one another.

Dawn breaks now, upon a new day, upon a new morning, and we are walking out into the sunshine together.

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and,
The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain...baby...
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, ...yeah.
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey,

I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
(there's so much inside)
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
the light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you the stranger it feels, yeah....

Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.